Unkempt life...

hello.....there are times when i see people doing well for themselves and their families...n i feel that if this guy/girl can do it,i too can do it! i am not that gone-case! then their are times when i feel that i can never make it to a decent place which could earn great pride and respect for my parents...then there are times when i feel life changes, may be a year from now and i will start seeing those changes around me....maybe life won't be that dull..maybe life won't be this unkempt.....maybe it would be fun and easy going still.....as it has been for the most part of my life........final year makes everybody restless and curious! i am no exception. the tingling thought that next year, this time i would be a student no longer ..... it shudders me and excites me, both leering simultaneously.... the rounds of various forms, exams and results will start soon and life is going to be upside down...untill of course the day which would see light in the fact that i am at least employed somewhere, earning something for myself and family, doing something worthwhile with my life whose most part has been a waste....

i have never been an extraordinary child or even an informed child....
when i passed tenth and parents asked me what option i was considering, i said science coz it seemed to be an automatic choice....back then i din't know abt the various options various courses u can opt for after twelfth.... i thought a child with 91% in tenth ought to be in science and so i landed up in the science section of school...... but by the time i completed my twelfth it got to me that i wasn't cut out for this......science couldn't do to me what literature could.... science was awful whereas literature was awesome! i tried my luck at convincing parents but may be i wasn't very persistent or may be my appeals weren't too strong and so i was left here, doing engineering.....EC. well....this aint too bad though...somethings are great to read,to know,to work on..but mostly it's a responsibility to complete this degree that makes me study during exams....... now with one year remaining in this tetrad, i am again at a loss of thoughts,the same way as i was after tenth or twelfth...... i don't know what will i do or where will i ultimately show up after i am done with this degree course...... but i have some positivism too....... given the optimist i am, i take myself to be at some decent place doing some fruitful work and making a mark slowly......a few years from now..........

all my mates are facing this dilemma....iam no different.....hoping to see most drems fullfilled......hoping for the best......all my dear friends......i just have to say that this anxiety, this restlessness is natural....but don't let it burden you or depress you.......all of us have a long way to go...and insha allah,we will go the happy ways!