OUCH! IT HURTS!!

shining through my eyes

anticipation roared

smiling pink lips

turned brown and sour 

when you said i was wrong.

pulsating thoughts in my mind

all my manners turned wild

when you said i was wrong.

smile was replaced

furrowed brow

aching heart 

fading glow

this happened when you said i was wrong.

burgeoning expectations

hard work

insensitive remarks

towards me you throw

it hurts!

i cry, you cry

i shout, you shout

i accuse, you accuse

is this why we became recluse

don't say this to me o folks!

don't burden me with piles of thoughts!

as we explode into bursts

it hurts

ouch! it really hurts! 

Broken...

Pearls of dew on the blades of green

scintillating colors emanating from sheen

drizzling down the sky

A love story was born. aye!

Magical it was. in trance, i gasped!

My love was smiling, arms stretched

waiting for my steady clasp.

I started towards him. i walked, i ran.

His touch, his warmth engulfed me.

We embraced amidst breeze. it was divine.

All tensions drained, all worries succumbed

to the sea of love his presence oozed.

Safely cuddled in his loving claws

it felt as if i had no flaws.

It was a fairy tale. My tale.

Minus any villains, minus all sorrows.

Bliss circled my life, content filled my marrows.

A flip and the serenity receded.

The darkness bothered me.

The storm scared me.

His absence pricked me.

My dream was broken.

My heart splintered

into many pieces, each of which

will continue loving him.

But life proceeds despite the teary eyes,

the silent sobs, the forced smiles

or even A Shattered Heart!...

I Hold Onto Still…

The world sees what I show
Smiling and happy, a cheerful pro
Deep within floats a huge sorrow
Nobody knows what I go through.

Every day, numerous times
The bell of olden memories chimes
I had suppressed them, buried them
I had forgotten them, bullied them.

But they haunt me still
Pinches of words, goes down a deep chill.

His charming face, his cute smile
Tiny freckles of mischief nubile
His sleepy eyes, a puckered nose
Dimpled chin and those snappy pose!
His love, his warmth
His deep breath down the throat
When holding me in his arms
As huge as this world spans.

The tears in your eyes
Those shrills in your voice
Will scare me forever.
As I lay here in the lap of nature
I realize how I endowed in miniature
A slow, painful death
To you and to me…

Rusting myself with smiles and cheer

I lead on life with a fake vigor
Holding onto my friends and peer
Hoping to never see you even minutely
But praying to be yours somehow, someday,completely.

Nestled in your arms comfortably
Wiping off the tears of blessing
Kissing those lips that confessed your love
Submerged in the oceanic passionate glove.

Dreams rarely materialize
I hold onto them still.
Mesmerized by the purity of love
Barbed with the security of togetherness
Showered with your core affection
I want to be yours in total perfection.

The world goes by
They tell me to move a sly
But somehow, some why
I hold onto still
I hold onto still….

ONSET OF DELIGHT!

This world is so beautiful

Coz it has love.

Love…an urge to be with him

When the first raindrop falls.

Love…an ecstasy,the joy you feel

When his presence is sound.

Love…a tender tickle when you

Sit alone thinking of him.

Love…a tear of happiness

When the proposal dooms.

Love…the divine angel that bears within

When the seeds of care blooms.

I can go on and on…

Love’s endless. Love’s pious.

Love’s virgin. Love’s bias.

Love elates you. Love teases you.

Love awakes you. Love shakes you.

It is patient. It is restless.

It is leisure. It is pleasure.

Love soothes you. Love calms you.

Love paints a serene ambiance all around you.

No taunt now evokes me.

No denial now provokes me.

No loss now seems huge.

I’m always in a thoughtful deluge.

Paradise on earth,true they say.

You find it recreated amidst despair and dismay.

Away it blows the shroud of emptiness

And blooms the flowers of togetherness.

May be I love him…

He is in my heart. He is in my head.

He is in my thoughts, loneliness now dead.

He is always near,unseen….but his existence deemed.

I can feel him.

He smiles, I smile.

He laughs, I laugh.

He saddens, I get upset.

He rejoices, I jump a set.

He speaks, I listen.

He does, I watch.

He comes, my delight.

He departs, my eyes fill with fright.

He utters, I grasp.

He blinks, I gasp.

My heart beats,with his love replete

And when he says he loves me,

I feel complete….yeah…I feel complete…

LIFE EXPRESS!!!

life's like a train. a train constantly running around, all over places, with people exiting and entering at various terminals and junctions; people whom you forget, people whom you remember for some time and people who leave an imprint, an impression on your mind. i once read somewhere :
                  "it's the same earth the same sky but perceptions differ...
                         it's the same road, the same curve but journeys differ...."

this particular quote now stays on my Facebook page permanently. it's so true! all of us are on a perpetual odyssey, the journey of life, taking you to places, landscapes, people.... the only fact that differs us is probably our train. may be we are on different tracks. may be we boarded different trains. some opt for flights too, some ships and some prefer road journeys. :) to each his own. everybody has a struggle to conquer, a dream to achieve, a responsibility to bear, a hobby to indulge in and people to live with, please some and annoy some! life's is such a roller coaster ride! the tracks, your train is running on, can turn any time! to the left, may be right or who knows a u-turn too! it's all about time. it's all about capabilities. and it's all about your spirits! what looked like a happy, carefree, stress-free childhood, transformed to become a hectic, wandering, philandering teenage! and it went on to become a confused, a mysterious youth! now when i stand here at this crossroad of my life, at this junction where i have to change my train since this one goes till here only, i am absolutely unaware which next to board! career! this junction is career! every person has so many dimensions to his/her personality. each dimension can go on to build a perfect base. but then, you cannot be a master of all. you need to decide. now is the time. i am a simple, a routine bubbly girl, only 22 and i feel a little stressed now! school, college, everything is over now! those fun days, now have a counterpart in struggling days! success and struggle do go hand in hand after all. success comes to those who are all for it, up with their arms and strength! 

my tragedy is no peculiar. as ordinary as a dog on the street, i too, am struggling, coping with my wants, my needs and my desires, me deeds and my dreams. i am not disillusioned, just a little translucent. may be this thin sheet of film lies because i fear. i fear about the consequences. about the reactions! response from those who expect something else from me. do i really need to please all? do i really need to kill my dreams and board some trains just because people around me want me to be on that train and enjoy the new journey? well, who knows whether i'll enjoy that journey or not? who knows whether i'll be wanting to continue that journey or not! no one. other than me of course! it's me. it's time now. it's now or never! i see myself going somewhere. i vision myself, happy and gay there, my world full of smiles, smiles that emanate from the satisfaction, the contentment i would be having within..... yes.. i see it..... i only need to toil a little .... and my dreams sure don't come cheap! they require attention, hard work, the lust in my eyes for them and of course determination. am i up for it?? :) i am all for it! :) come what may, i'll be there some day..... some day very soon........ insha allah!